Saturday, 14 May 2011

What is a Parent?

A parent is the person who raises you, nurtures, teaches and loves you through, good times and bad times; a person that is always there to help. A parent teaches you right from wrong and moral values. Biology has nothing to do with it. It makes me really mad when the courts say that the biological parent has legal right over a child or children, when they may not have seen or even contacted them in years. Or worse; they come in and out of the children’s lives and make false promises. What makes these people, who have abandoned their children, think that when they are feeling alone and getting older that the children, they never knew, should step in and let them be part of a family? If separated parents come to an arrangement and both parties take responsibility for the children then it is a different matter. When the children have been abandoned; without child support, birthday, Christmas or even valentines cards, have never had any attempt made to stay in contact by phone, mail or visits, I think it is cruel and pathetic that they decide to get in contact when they know the children are grown and doing well. The worse parents of all are the ones who every few years move into the child’s life, promising to continue the relationship; only to disappear for years at a time, only to return when it suits them. Don’t they realize that most of these children have a new parent in their lives who is stable and who loves them unconditionally; if they don’t then the estranged parent should never have become estranged. They should have stood up to their responsibilities and not play tug-of-war with the children’s delicate emotions. When one parent disappears sometimes the remaining parent tries to make excuses for the missing parent. This is not a good idea. You should never tell children bad things about their missing parent when they are young but you also shouldn’t build them into a hero figure. If a parent has abandoned their children for their whole life and these children have a happy, healthy and loving family than I think they should stay out of the children’s happy life because in most cases it just brings grief and problems. They usually end up screwing up again anyway and disappear once again, leaving the children emotionally scarred.